Spiritual Mop

As we head into the eve of the new year I just had a little food for thought: a skeleton goes into a bar and says "I will have a beer and...a mop, please." Haha!

I thought this was cute but also very fitting for the occasion. How many times do we do things thinking we can cover up the holes or voids, only realize we can't, and we grab the mop to clean it up.

Some may have the view that God chose me because of something I did along the way and this is a form of punishment. OR others may have the notion that God chose his experience to fill up my voids and make me whole in other ways.

Whatever the view, just remember that we are entering a new year of which we can make many choices. Start to purge your thoughts, soul, spirit and change what you do this year. Make the holes smaller and smaller. The drinks are too good to be mopped up. :)

Additional food for thought: we are all "normal" until someone reminds us otherwise. I was at a store this week and got into the checkout line where my nickname became "dude." Mind you, I was so far removed from the idea of not having hands and was focused on getting to my next destination. The sales guy proceeds to say "dude, what is that called?"

My thought was "dude, my name is Jen and I have no idea what you are asking me." He was 20 something which gave me pause so I just smiled and said "uh, I don't know what you mean." Long story short, he was asking me about my hands. But between all the "dude" comments I wasn't so sure. We got to the bottom of his investigation and he finally told me that a good friend of his was born without hands. He told me his story and we got a quick surfer-bonding dude moment. :)

After I got in my car, I sat and thought about it. I really wasn't aware that he was referring to me. My point? I have a long way to go, as we all do in self-development, but having a day where you forget about the obvious feels really, really good. At the end of the day, we are all just moving parts to making the Earth a place we want it to be.

Make a difference! As I said below, look forward to a new blog, kids perspectives, how we have made our team, my upcoming surgery, and the continuation of this wild journey!

Love,

Jen

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I want to wish you all a wonderful Christmas day!

I feel so happy to be in this moment on this day with such a great family. Being here was so uncertain for so long that I feel like I should be celebrating the end of 2007 with my entire medical team, family, friends, and everyone that has had such a huge spiritual effect on me and who I still have yet to meet!

I had a cup of coffee with a retired friend of mine this past week who really made me think about life. I was watching him and listening to his words and you know what? Do everything that your heart desires (within reason, of course!). You don't want to be one of those "woulda, coulda, shoulda" people, do you? When we retire we eiher need to be talking about the things we have done or are just getting ready to do.

Our elders, parents, coaches, teachers (even politicians, but that is another website!) have a lot to say and offer ways to guiding us. We should try listening this next year and see how we change.

So many of us have the tools we need or want from life, but it's up to us to notice and grab them. You don't need a near death experience to grasp what life is about. However, because of my challenges, I am dancing to a different beat and being guided by the hands around me. That alone makes what is so important visible without even looking.

Merry Christmas! Be looking for my updated blog and my new information after the first of the year!

Ho Ho Ho,

Jen

P.S. Christy from Dallas, you are on my mind!

News for the New Year

Starting in January, if you can't reach me, it's because I'm back at work! I am headed back to the rat race. :) I'm looking forward to starting this next chapter. I was actually at work this morning and enjoyed seeing some great familiar smiles.

Until then, it's been one Christmas party after another this week. I have finished my shopping as well, yeah! This holiday season has meant more to me for obvious reasons, however, it has made me feel so blessed and excited that I am even here to celebrate.

I had such a humbling experience this week that I want to share with you all. I am not the type of person to share this, but I thought the emotions and lesson I learned should be expressed.

Nick and I were invited to a really nice Christmas party and had the opportunity to be seated with the host and some wonderful friends. To my surprise, the host went up to the microphone and started the party with a great welcome and then asked me to stand up. I was in the room with a large crowd and it was little intimidating! As I walked up to the microphone, people started to stand up one by one and clap.

I glanced around the room and realized all eyes were on me with my husband smiling and clapping with them. I had such a rush of emotions and felt it really hard to contain my composure. Knowing how hard I (and everyone else) have fought (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.) it was such a sense of accomplishment and understanding of the human spirit. It was such a surreal experience that made me feel like I am being guided by something that I can't explain. I will treasure that moment and feeling forever.

I am sharing this for two reasons. One, when I was in the hospital, sitting up and supporting myself and not allowing the "I can't do it" thoughts to enter my head were the biggest challenges of my day. Two, you can do it!

This gave me the "push" forward that I needed. My life is continually changing and I want everyone to think about those moments that you need a little push and how it feels once you have done it, whatever that may be.

I am so blessed to start 2008 with the feeling that I have such a curiosity, dedication and genuine love for life. I know there are several people close to me that have loved ones in a crises and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mom and Dad, Nick and my family: I am so honored to be your daughter, wife, sibling and friend. Thanks for providing me the tools to pull through and to have the stepping stones to build on. I have a few other things coming up after the first of the year that I'm looking forward to sharing with you.

Love,
Jen

Flying Solo

For those who read my last post, I had a few comments that said I went a little off course with that one. :) Ha! Okay, so for those who think the same, I was trying to make a point but rather than rehashing I will just save it for another day. Can't blame a girl for trying!

Anyway, hope everyone had a great weekend. I went to visit two of my best friends, by myself, and had such an awesome time. The first obstacle was getting through security without the help of others. Guess what? It took a little longer but I made it. I highly advise cutting in line, telling a security person your situation, and you will fly right through. The only difference is that you get searched a lot more and the conversations aren't that exciting! What is it with those people and humor?

I think this would have been a normal weekend except for the fact that this was my first trip with the girls since high school. I felt such a sense of independence this weekend but gained dependence for the friendships. These are the types of people and friendships that you can always count on in many ways. They will tell you when you are messing up as well as doing good. They spoiled me in the hospital, fussed at nurses when the service was a bit slow, made me a chart of when exactly I should be taking my medications versus taking them on Jen's schedule, and kept me smiling.

We are the same age but all in different places in our lives. As people go in and out of our lives we start to realize who will be in our corner and who won't. We also start to develop a network of people who are in our life for various reasons. Not everyone is in our life for the same reason, take everyone for who the are, not who you want them to be.

I have met really interesting people in various places. Over this holiday season make it a goal to meet someone new every week. People who may clean your house, take out your trash or hook up your cable may be the most interesting of all. Take time, at least once a week, to ask someone how they are and know if they have a family, have plans for the holiday, and so on.

I say this because if my friends would not have asked me a question or two. I wouldn't have the opportunity to be blessed with such great angels in my life. Not to mention my husband asking me if he could could "ring me" when he met me. Best question ever.


I have an understanding that life is too short. We should take advantage of the environment we have been provided with and take time to enrich ourselves, relationships, and to understand why we aren't doing those things we always wanted to. There is no sense in waiting when you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Love,
Jen

I'm In a New York State of Mind

I saw a great performance last night by Billy Joel. Whether you like him or not the music was so great. While I was there, I looked around and saw how many people seemed to be in such a great mood. There were big smiles, dancing and laughing. Music seems to connect so many people regardless of their social status, race, or handicap. :) By the way, I discovered that when I got excited and wanted to clap, I had to find a new dance move instead!

Being happy is truly a state of mind. Billy Joel has had some really rough times. At the end of the day, he is human, just like us. But, he has chosen to get back out and smile again while making others forget about everything just to watch him.

I want to expand your thoughts onto someone that Nick introduced me to. Jigme Singye Wangchuck was the king of Bhutan in 1972 and started the GNH or Gross National Happiness. It is an attempt to define quality of life in a more holistic and psychological way than what the traditional Gross National Product does.

Like many moral goals, it is somewhat easier to state than to define. Nonetheless, it serves as a unifying vision for the Five Year planning process and all the derived planning documents that guide the economic and development plans of the country.

While conventional development models stress economic growth as the ultimate objective, the concept of GNH claims to be based on the premise that true development of human society takes place when material and spiritual development occur side by side to complement and reinforce each other. The four pillars of GNH are the promotion of equitable and sustainable socio-economic development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the natural environment, and establishment of good governance.

How cool would it be if we could just have one week to focus on what is really important. All the meetings, phone calls and stress can be put on hold. We need a concert, laughter, hugs, and true spiritual connection.

Next time you are out, take note of the people around you. We are all connected in a way that the wireless companies, computer companies, and technology companies think they understand, but it's the one's who want less, laugh more and connect through the heart who might just have it right!

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been tryin' to be lately.

Love,
Jen

Fly: When a Great Adventure is Offered, Don't Refuse It

It's Sunday night and I am thinking about how fast and furious this week went. BUT - very exciting week.

Before I start, I want to thank Jason Nigg for his comment. That was so incredible and just gave me so much of what I need to read sometimes. ;) It's just so wild how this has reconnected people in my life. Hope all is well with you.

I have some progress on my hands. I have surgery scheduled in January. As I said before, this will be an outpatient procedure and recovery time should be minimal. Prosthetics should be soon. The strange thing is that I have learned to do so much without them that you start to adapt as you are. :) I am happy to finally have a date a be able to move forward.

I met with a very special lady this week who introduced me to some very cool software. The funny thing is that it can help me tremendously, but I don't know why everyone wouldn't want this! You can do so much on the computer just by talking to it. Girls, you would love it. Even though I can type, my speed can get shaky after a while. This can just keep me going for hours― meaning lots more reading to come! :)

Nick & I have also had a wonderful angel by our side for a while that just made life a little easier. It seems that everytime we get comfortable with something new our life changes, again. Things are going well for us but we owe so much to others. We gain a new experience every week and I hope this continues for a long time.

I am still swimming and doing pilates. I keep going farther and farther but want to learn more. I am doing this totally for myself but hopefully I can inspire others to try something new. Just don't refuse what is right in front of you.


This week has just been filled with experiences that only a higher being is behind. My morning routine is getting so much faster, I am walking faster and faster (I was almost in a light jog this morning with Matthew) and am learning how to really be a partner. It's all being encouraged by something else―something bigger and unseen.

I am going to see Billy Joel this week with a great friend and looking forward to that. This is a busy week coming up, but this past week has experiences you can only do once.

Have a great few days and happy holidays!

Love,
Jen

Part of Where I'm Going is Knowing Where I'm Coming From

It is Sunday evening and so cold. I'm with blanket and hot chocolate and thinking about my family and what a great time we had for Thanksgiving. I discovered a great game called Catch Phrase. Anyone know it? We had so many people playing and so many laughs it felt like a game show. It was loads of fun. Little Matthew was great; it's scary when a 9-year-old stumps you. :)

How about watching old family videos and sharing the cool 80s hair and very scary clothes with your husband for the first time! I think he is still traumatized. :) The family started watching and I felt like I could watch them for hours.

For the answer to the big question: yes, I beeped all the way through airport security. However, it was all handled so graciously that it was pretty much uneventful. The hockey game was more exciting! Also, we did get an early snow and I realize how much I do miss it!

This was my first holiday with my "new look". I had many, many thoughts running through my head. Before I share, you probably need to know a bit about my family during the holidays. Laughter, groups, jokes, traditions, food, love, friendships, food, and did I say food? :)
My family is not exactly quiet or shy and we have been told that we are like the mob.

That being said, I use to be much more involved than what I felt I was this year. I want to thank Christy so very much for taking care of things when I can't and for being so good to my family and mom. Your the extra special addition to everything. As everything happens for a reason, I truly feel that God placed Nick in my life and you in Matt's so that there was support in place for what he had planned.

I took in so much from this visit and really noticed the smiles, love and real friendship that is within my circle. I have to say that it is a bit tough not being able to help with certain festivities and be that person that people used to ask for help. I felt as if I was just an observer, which is fine but just a change/adjustment. I tested a lot of drinks and had good conversation.

The thing that is to be said is this: everything that has got me to this place in my mind, heart and soul was started way over 50 years ago with Bob and Eleanor meeting, falling in love, starting a wonderful family and being the best grandparents anyone could ask for. They raised three wonderful kids, one, my wonderful mom and the other two, my close friends. I looked at the photos from this week and think how awesome how two people started a great, great thing.
I also noticed this week that patience with emotions is a very powerful tool. Allowing yourself to feel the changes and to absorb the differences brings you closer to yourself. The first step to moving past a new feeling/emotion/experience is to allow yourself the patience of the emotion.
I have so many things I want to do by next years holiday but I have to experience this first. I'm not used to being in the background. Even though everyone understands, I know that it's extra work for others now and I truly want everyone to know how much of a team this is. I love you all so much.

I read your comments all the time and can't tell you how many days this gives me strength. Christy from Dallas: please let me know what is going on with your mom. My thoughts are still with you.

I hope everyone had a great holiday. Before I sign off, I thought I would also share a laugh with you all. Click on this link for a holiday boost. It's Nick and my brothers, and oh, me too. :) (http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9605131896)

I will write again soon!

Love,
Jen

The One Thing Grander Than the Sea Is the Sky ... The One Thing Grander Than the Sky Is the Spirit of the Human Being.

I was thinking of what to write today while I was at the park. I was watching everyone walking by, running with their dogs, or getting family photos. I even saw many ducks being fed as well as birds flying all around. It is somewhat intriguing to know that so much goes on during the day, even while we are at a park.

While sitting there I realized that my life has really slowed down in the sense that I have time to appreciate and pay attention more. I have always felt that I have struggled to slow down and take time for what matters. I know this is relative as we all may have a different view on what matters in life, however, I'm not missing out anymore on things that are important to me.

There are days that I literally have to strategize every move I make and then I have the days that I fly through every move. The difference is that I don't have a choice on whether or not I want to skip the strategy; it's there and it's not going away. Because of this, I have learned patience and how to recognize the little things. At the end of the day I am only pushing myself to new heights. If it's hard, just look at how much stronger you will be after the rainbow starts to show itself again.

I was with a friend of mine yesterday seeing her little 4 year old niece. She is so precious. She could not take her eyes off my hands and she couldn't understand why I couldn't close my hand and make a fist. We had the cutest talk about me being a little different from her and I ended up telling her that I was just like her, she just didn't know it yet. She just responded with "I'm a princess", haha. Well I'm sure that was coincidence but I chose not to think so. :)

Nick, Matthew and I are flying to KS on Tuesday for turkey day and the whole gang will be there. We are really excited to be going. This is my first visit back since being in the hospital so its extra special.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. Remember the human spirit in all that we do. Our spirit affects the next person, good or bad, as well as keeps our internal soul in tact.

There is so much to be thankful for, just take time to appreciate them.

Love to all and have a great time with your families,
Jen

News From the Griffin World

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was full of family, laughter and food. :) I feel like all we do is eat.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that for anyone who is trying to swim: YOU CAN DO IT. If I can, you can. Swimming is going well and is a real sense of 'wow'. I can do the backstroke without any support. Even though I have a ways to go I was very surprised at what can be accomplished without hands and feet. It is a very strange feeling in the water but when you hold your breath, use your shoulders and forearms, anything can happen! I hope to have some pictures soon.

Pilates is still going well. Ellen: thank you so very much for your wonderful comments. I am happy that I am able to share my story with so many and feel so blessed that people like you are praying for me.

The golf tournament on Friday was fun. Mom and I rode in the golf cart following Nick, Matt, Dad and Richard. Again, this was for Limbs for Life. Because of product liability reasons in the US, the medical community cannot reuse or recycle prosthetics. This company provides these prosthetics to people who can't afford them outside of the US.

Also, I have several things going on in the background but are surprises for later. :) I am not just working out these days. I have discovered ways of living life that I never knew I could do before! It's great.

What awesome comments on the last post! Betty from Louisiana: good to hear from you again. So happy that you may have a house soon.

I wanted to comment on a post from Christy in Dallas. First of all, I want to commend you on you having a relationship with your biological mom. Adoption can be tough from many sides and it's neat that (regardless of how it happened) she is in your life. The fact that she is going through something so tough is a reason to understand her.


I hope I can answer your question. Start right now, as you read this, to understand that God has stepped into your mother's life also and the reason will show itself at some point. I never really knew what was being said but could feel loved ones around me. I don't know if it was just intuition or what, but I could feel their presence. I know how hard it must be to want her to acknowledge you but she will. My advice to you is to read and understand as much as you can. She will need your strength. Thank you for sharing, she is in my prayers. It is strange that you got in touch with my blog before she got sick. Please let me know if I can be a help to you or her in any way!

I really hope to help as many as I can and I thank everyone for the love and support, it's amazing.

News on my hands: I am going to have a minor out patient surgery on my right hand to shorten the length a bit. This is for prosthetic and cosmetic reasons. My recovery time is pretty minor so I may have prosthetics after the first of the year. This will hopefully be the last time I see the surgery room. Talk to you soon.

Love,
Jen

How Not to Draw Attention

First, I want to say that my uncle Randy really raised the bar with his one night stand joke on the last post. :) For those who don't know him, he can make you laugh at just about anything. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

Okay, so Friday night Nick and I got great tickets to the hockey game. We get to the gate and start to go through the metal detector. Nick walks through just fine. I, on the other hand, wasn't so conspicuous. It was as if I had a few machine guns. As I was beeping like crazy I kept saying "I got nothing" and could not figure it out. Turns out, Fred & Ginger wanted to make a real debut at the hockey game. Nick graciously told security that I had prosthetics and we figured out that it was the metal under the skin. We definitely had a good laugh and good beer after that one!

Along with pilates, I am taking up the art of swimming this week. I am really encouraged to be doing this. It has taken a bit to find the right place/person. I think the two of these together will help me in so many ways. By the way, if you haven't heard, read up on the girl who is trying out for the Olympics and doesn't have legs. How inspiring is that! I really hope she gets in.

I have also been cooking lately. This has been an issue, as you can imagine. However, I have had a friend of mine spend time with me and discovered several ways of doing things.

For those of you that have seen You, Me and Dupree, this is a sense of getting my "ness" back. You have a lot of those moments going through this kind of thing. I used to wear heels, now I wear flats. I used to spend time with my hair, now I shop for hats. It's things like this that create a new you and the "ness" comes back. Once you get in your mind that your creating a new you, it becomes kind of fun. The only thing that will hold you back is your determination and love for yourself.

I am really excited for tonight. Nick & I are going to see BEN HARPER at The Majestic. We used to do a lot of this before I went into the hospital. It's starting to feel like everything is getting back to where it was before the big day. :)

Nick, my dad, little bro and uncle are playing in a golf tournament this week to benefit Limbs for Life. It's a great organization that benefits people/third world countries who can't afford prosthetics. This is a sore subject for me so I won't ramble other than to say it's a really great organization.

I had a great visit this weekend from my mom, grandmother and aunt. We played Trivial Pursuit and little Matthew had so much fun. It was a great weekend. My mom is spending the week with us which will be great.

Have an awesome day!

Love,
Jen

Happy Halloween

So I was going to tell you a few Halloween jokes. But, as I got to really reading them I realized that they are all pretty bad. Anyone have any good jokes? I had few Bush jokes but didn't want to get into politics on a day like this. :)

Since my last post, I have had a few new experiences while meeting new people. I do feel blessed to wake up everyday with the feeling of support. I honestly don't know what it would be like if I didn't have that. Because I have so much support, I have developed a communication with friends that really has helped me to grow.

That being said, I wanted to share with you, a common question that I get. Last night I was at dinner with a friend and the waitress kept glancing at my hands, as if thinking "how is she going to eat". My friends ask me if things like that bother me. I know I have touched on this before, but it all comes from within. I am human, so of course I have moments.

The thing that I have built strength on (besides family, love and support) is that I am still the same person I always have been, I just have a "story" now. This is who I am and I don't have a choice to not figure things out. I feel proud, at times, that I have fought so hard to stay alive and get to where I am today. We never know what someone has gone through or where they are going. I know and understand why people want to look. It's human nature and its the psychology of who we are.

However, if we choose to focus on the looks then it will bring you down. I have more important things to focus on during my day than a 30 second glance. Just remember that we all have a story and we can pay it forward emotionally as well. Things you do or say can really affect the next person because we don't know there story. Take time with people before we judge.

Have a great day, have fun with the kiddos, eat lots of candy and wear a costume it's good for the soul.

By the way, I am considering going as an amputee with my "Vote for Pedro" shirt. What do you think? :)

Love,
Jen

Strength in Determination

How did the pilates go, you ask? Great. I'm feeling like my ability to do more physical activity is finally getting back to where it used to be. Nick and I also worked out together at the gym. I'm going to be doing pilates and going to the gym wih Nick. Being around people that are so motivating with being healthy is such an awesome mind set.

However, I do have a funny story. Riding a bike for me is somewhat different than it is for you. My ankle is not flexible. So, when I peddle it is one flat movement. It is easier for me if the bike is set up with the peddles out in the front vs. a regular bike with the peddle right below you. That being said, Nick and I were trying to get me on a bike that was pretty hard to ride (peddle was below). I finally got on and it was a complete debacle. I couldn't stay on for very long as I couldn't keep my feet in the peddle. For what ever reason, we looked at each other at the same time and just laughed. I looked so out of sorts but I tried. I got off and just acted as if it was the bikes problem not me, ha!

So, I tried and realized that this one thing is going to be a bit more difficult but in time I will be on the road again!

You have also asked about the dog. This started several months ago with a special person who decided to take this on as a way to help me and my family. For those who aren't aware, getting a service dog takes anywhere between 9-12 months. It also takes a minimum of 3 months to even know whether or not a dog will work as a service dog (the % of dogs that actually make it is very small). The dogs actually choose you to an extent. The more time I spend with them, the easier it is to develop a relationship and see how they respond. The dogs are all trained to do a ton of things, regardless of your needs. Then, they will customize the training to your specific needs. As there really is so much I can do on my own , this is just an extra special treat to help me in those times that I do need help. Dogs will always make you smile. Thanks to everyone who is putting time into this project and for giving my family and I something to make our world even brighter! :)

The weather has been chilly here which is such a great atmosphere for reading. When I find a moment, I read (catching my mom's pastime). I have read something that I have been pondering and I want you all to think about it.

We are all trying to realize our personal legend or path, right? Then pay attention to what should be a coincidence vs. an omen or a "sign". Some don't believe in coincidence and I think I'm on the fence. Not to make this about me, but I wanted to give you some examples and then you apply it to your life.

What my family and I have gone through has been very emotionally charged and traumatic. However, the relationships that were developed in the waiting room (a lot) are ones that I and others will treasure forever. I have reconnected with great friends, is this a coincidence or god's plan? Nick was asked to be a part of Bentree at a time that it really mattered. The support we have received from them has been amazing and a great deal of the support had never met me. Coincidence or God's plan? I have gained a confidence in areas I never had before. Coincidence orGod's plan? Being a private person by nature, I have had to accept my situation (from a privacy perspective) as it's not something I can hide. This has made me able to open up in areas that were hard before. I have had the chance to be with family and friends and really laugh. These laughs were so needed and I know deep down these were guided laughs by the need to be in the big picture of life.

The experiences I have had and the people that are coming into our life has to truly be an omen. This has changed me in so many ways. If you really take a step back from yourself and look at the big picture, you can still take a deep breath and smile. There truly is a reason, always. :)

My thought for you is this: embrace the coincidences or omens and let them guide you. Whatever your thoughts are on this, if you think the best and believe in the fact that "this is where you should be", things will happen.

Have a great day!

Love,
Jen

Bend it Like Griffin

Bend what? :) As most of you know, before I got sick I really enjoyed riding my bike and doing yoga (योग). I have really missed both but am trying to find a way to get a bike set up. However, in the mean time, good ol' Walt has gotten me in touch with a pilates instructor and I start tomorrow. I am really excited.

Again, bend what? I'm not sure how this will work but I will definitely make sure Fred is securely fastened! Just getting back in this environment is going to be good for me. I am going to have a few classes and see where this takes me. :)

I am also looking into swimming again. A few mornings a week would be so good for the soul. We shall see, I'll keep you posted on this one.

Also, I am going with Ann (Walt's wife) tomorrow to the place that is working on my service dog. I'm really looking forward to seeing all the dogs. Hopefully I will have a dog soon. They are all so amazing.

I hope you all had a great weekend. I had a really great weekend with friends and family.

Love,
Jen

Unidentified Flying Leg; Book Suggestion

Okay, whoever made the comment about the fact that I needed to make a new post: thank you. There is nothing better than being told how it is or how it should be. :)

My previous post was very therapeutic for me and I will be sharing more with you soon. I feel as though I have been given a venue to create smiles and warmth and that is the best feeling.

I am switching gears this week to a really funny story. However, before I give up the goods, I want to share a bit of something that got me through the situation I am about to share.

While I was in rehabilitation I was given the best book by a great friend Taylor Hess. The book is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. If you haven't read this, you must add this to your list of things to do before you die.

There is a part of the book that goes like this "the soul of the world is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation. All things are one. When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

So, how does this relate to my story? Let me first start by saying that in my situation there are always moments of feeling like saying "oops, I really hope nobody saw that". Ha! That being said, a few weeks ago I was at my husbands work for lunch. I didn't have my leg on properly and was very aware of it. After lunch Matthew and I walked out to get the car and talked with the valet for a bit. As I pulled up my leg to get into the car, the prosthetic (Fred) slid straight off my leg, hit the ground and then, of course, tipped over.

Wow. I wouldn't advise trying this at home. Great party trick but this was the worst possible place ever. I tried so hard to play this off but what do you say? The valet looked at me, I looked at her and started laughing (I tend to laugh at the worst times!). I said "well, this is embarrassing. Do you mind handing me my leg?" Haha! She was really sweet about it and now she has a story. We got it all worked out and had a good laugh.

However, the phrase from the book above really stuck with me. As embarrassing as it was, my soul was actually in a great place. The energy was light and lent itself to a very warm and funny environment.

Laughing at ourselves and understanding the art of loving ourselves, will create a universe where we will be able to know our true destiny.

Laugh a lot these next few days. I'll even let you borrow Fred or Ginger if you need it .:)

Love,
Jen

How it All Feels

It's late, but I can't sleep and have been thinking of all of you. I read the blog from the beginning (which I have not done yet) and have become filled with emotions that I thought were gone.

As I read through this I felt so blessed and humbled by all the love and support; friends/teachers from high school, very cool. However, I realized that a part of this story is missing. As much as I post I haven't really told my story of being in the hospital.

So what was it like? How does it all feel? There is so much of the beginning that I have no recollection of (dialysis, bleeds, etc.) so I will start with the first thing I remember.

Even though my eyes were closed, I could always tell when someone special was close to me as I always felt warmth around my body. I could feel hands on my hands but never knew what was really going on. My first real memory of "coming to" was seeing my mom at the end of my bed smiling. Nick was, of course, by my side. I remember preparing for surgery and having my dad tell the doctors "she understands" as the doctors weren't so sure.

The ventilator was one of the hardest things I had to do. I was working so hard to fight for my life but this was a period of real doubt. I knew that my life was in serious question and the ability to push myself played a huge role. I have told my loved ones this, but there was a moment that I laid in my bed, so tired and frustrated, that I almost let go. It was so hard to breathe. I had to literally talk to myself and say, one more breath. During this time I had a very personal experience which lead me to understand that I could go to the other side but it wasn't my time. So, I chose to breath as hard as I could and pulled myself out of it.

Not being able to talk to the people that meant the most to me was so difficult. Nick tried so hard to figure out what I was saying ― as did everyone. I needed my husband so much but couldn't tell him.

Once this passed, it was time for surgery. I could see that my hands/feet were becoming necrotic but never considered the word "amputation". I remember thinking that there must be something else they could do but never felt scared ― only a sense of peace that it would be alright. The day of my surgery, April 25, 2007, I was in good spirits and just remember telling the nurses that it would all be okay ― and it was.

The most painful part was taking grafts from my thighs ― OUCH. The layer of skin is so close to nerves that the pain was just unbearable. However, this is where I learned the art of pain pills. :)

After surgery, Nick and I shared some really special moments and started talking about how we were going to do this. As with my parents and family, it was really hard seeing them watch me knowing how hard it was for them. My family was so solid and was good at getting me to fall asleep while mom and Martha would sneak in a Sprite. Not eating for weeks was a real downer.

It wasn't until I tried to use my hands or felt like walking, that I felt like an amputee. My mind was always in another place. Denial, maybe? Whatever the case, it kept a smile on my face.

I did have a day (or two) that I had a great deal of anger. I had so much done to me, so many scars, and absolutely NO control. I was trying to regain some sort of control and it was very hard.

Deep down in my heart I was talking to myself about rehabilitation. I knew that if I could get well enough to get to rehab I would be okay. I could get back into exercising and build up my strength. I had such great people around me that kept me going.

Fast forward to leaving rehab and coming home. I had been in a protected environment for so long that I was a little apprehensive. My first experience was going to McDonald's with my dad and I received a few looks. All I could think of was how it was making my dad feel. It's strange how you start to think of everyone but yourself.

Coming home was really scary ― for everyone. So much was unknown and I still had not mastered so many things. My entire life and how Nick and I used to do things had completely changed.

Do I get scared? Sure. Do I get sad, frustrated, or mad? Of course. But what I never give up on is the belief that we are all here for a purpose ― regardless of what we look like. I didn't plan on this but somewhere along my journey in this life a spiritual guide asked me to take a different path. All I can do at this point is embrace it and allow this path to guide me.

I don't ask "why me". I just ask for guidance through tomorrow and to give me the power to help others. Pay it forward ― I have days that I feel normal and days I feel challenged but it's never about "why". Too many special things have come into my life since March 23rd ― it's just the beginning.

Thank you all for giving me the memories and comments to reflect on. It means so much to me! Goodnight.

Love,
Jen

One Year Later

My husband and I just celebrated our 1st year of marriage on Sunday. I feel like we need to be in counseling for "how not to take on so much in the first year", ha! It was a real treat to realize what we have been through and to think how lucky we feel to be together. Never underestimate the power of strength and love in the bad times. There is always a rainbow on the other side.

I dropped my cell phone today getting out of my car. Big deal? In the scope of things no, however, I tried to pick it up (after it was in pieces) and realized that I couldn't. It was early in the morning and I only had a 1/2 cup of coffee so, I decided to cry. All was better after my friend saved and helped me. :)

As the day went on I snapped out of it, drank more coffee, and found things to laugh about. What this made me realize was that we all need to let go of the things that we think are so important but really aren't. Life is too short. Don't get discouraged or upset about things that really don't add value. Only take to heart things or people that you respect or have a real connection to.

Our emotions and understanding will be so much better for our heart. Keep up the good work for paying it forward. Something special is out there for someone. My aunt did a great thing and it really made me smile.

Love,
Jen

Jen's Challenge

Thank you for all of the comments from the past two posts. It feels great to have so many people tell me to keep going. :) For all the people who have just "stumbled" onto the blog, thanks for stumbling. I hope to make this a regular spot for you. And for the 2nd grader who posted (at 10:52 on a school night by the way), I love caramel popcorn, just let me know when and where and I'll be there. :)

Betty from Louisiana. Where have you been? I hope your journey is getting better for you!

So what is new with me? Nick and I woke up this morning to 10+ pink flamingos in our yard. It is in support of my step son's school fund raiser. We now have to pass these on to someone else. It was a great and funny way to start the day. As this is somewhat of a slow week for me, I thought I'd put you all to a challenge.

As I have experiences everyday (questions, figuring out how to pick something up, understanding what "wheelchair accessible" really means, etc.), I want you all to find something over the next few days that you can pass on to the next person. Pay it forward. Find someone that may need help getting through a door, may need a hug, may need a few extra dollars, may need a ride, or whatever else!

Then, post your experience and watch what happens. If you don't post you may miss out.

Love,
Jen

The Bloggin' Continues!

The blog is here to stay unless you tell me otherwise. :) Always feel free to ask me questions, let me know what you want to hear and to use this as a way to get to know me in a way that I may not have shared.

I went to OKC this week with mom and have my "official" legs. They now have skin on them and toe nails waiting to be painted. Any suggestions on colors? It's amazing what they can do with veins, freckles, hair, etc. just amazing.

For those of you that are not aware, I am in the process of getting a service dog ― very cool. I can thankfully do quite a bit; however, who wouldn't want a dog to do your laundry, take off your shoes or pick up anything that you may drop? It will take approximately one year to train the dog, and because of this, several people are donating time to help the training process ― people I don't even know. This is so special.

So, I had lunch with these wonderful people this week which really warmed my heart. I can't wait to have lunch with you all again soon. Thank you!

I will write early in the week from now on. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Love,
Jen

Full of Hot Air, Question

Wow! I had such an awesome experience this weekend, of which, I encourage everyone to do at least once in your life.

I had the opportunity to ride in a hot air balloon on Saturday (with about 50 other balloons) with my great hubby. It was such a beautiful and peaceful ride; we were up for about 45 minutes. I was able to balance myself for almost 3/4 of the ride. My mom and the gang was able to stand below us for a great view.

I have been sky diving before and feel that that my next adventure is a combination of the two, ha! We shall see.

We also celebrated my youngest brother's 23rd birthday. He flew in on a break from KU and we had a really fun time. I hope you all get to meet him as he will give you a new perspective on life.

I have a question for all of you. This blog has been going for months and I have loved every minute of it. However, I would really enjoy feedback regarding whether or not this is something I should continue or suggestions of what direction I should take this.

Please give me your input! :)

Love,
Jen

Life Isn't About Waiting for the Storm to Pass; It's About Learning to Dance in the Rain

It's Sunday night and I'm watching a little T.V. and reflecting on my day. I had a really rewarding experience that has given me strength.

A great friend of mine is a preacher, and he invited my family and I to hear a sermon today. During the sermon, he spoke about me without using my name. What was so interesting was being able to watch people's reaction as they were not aware that I was in the audience.

He got to the part of my story where my life changed forever and I would loose all four extremities. All I heard were gasps in the audience. Being as though this is my life and very, very real for me, I realized how detached I was from the "gasps".

This is very tragic situation but what I realized was that the gasps were so far behind where I am today. It was such a sense of joy to be in the audience while he was preaching, knowing that I could get up and walk to the door.

No matter what your "thing" is, realize that we ALL have them even if you can't see them. Everything we have gone through has made us who we are today, good or bad.

The next time you have a feeling that you are being "exposed" with a part of your story, just focus on where you are today and take pride in how much work you have done to get there.

It's the here and the now, not yesterday. You all keep me going everyday.

Love,
Jen

Making Up for Lost Time

I first want to thank everyone for the comments on my last post. That was a special day for me and all of your comments have really inspired me as well.

This may be a short post but wanted to share some fun information with you all ― the girls . :) I have tried several times this week and have finally accomplished putting on makeup ― by myself.

For anyone who wears makeup, this is such a rewarding experience to be able to do this on your own ― and look normal. :)

The really fun thing this has done for me, besides the obvious, is to never look at things at face value again. The tools that I use for makeup now wouldn't be what would be obvious to others.

Once you start thinking that a pen is not just a pen, a hook is not just a hook, or Velcro is not just Velcro (my new best friend by the way), life starts to open up and can become a lot less mundane.

Enjoy the creativity of what is truly out there ― I am really looking forward to what I can do next week and what God will bring.

Love,
Jen

Stepping Back

This has been a week of many emotions. I had a really great rehab session today but discovered something about myself.

Stairs are not so fun in my world. My therapist took me into a staircase and I looked up and thought, "ha, ya right". :) I took a few steps and just kept going and going. I stopped and realized that I had walked up 3 flights ― yeah!. The problem was that I had to get back down.

For me, walking down a step feels like I am going to completely fall forward. This wouldn't be a surprise for all of you that know my family, but, I am trying to set a new standards. :) So my therapist and I talked it out the whole way down. It was slow but I finally made it and I truly feel like saying, "Yeah, I did it!".

Besides the help of my husband and step son, I have been alone this week without my usual support group. This has been both rewarding and interesting at the same time. I have not been alone in 6 months ― how lucky am I. We all need space to grow and learn but we also have to realize how special it is to have that great of a support system.

So, what have I learned? Steps aren't just steps and time alone isn't just being alone. The next time you take a step, slow down the walk and realize and appreciate that you have the capability to take that step. You may have something that someone else wished they had. Steps are just another way of getting somewhere, but not everyone can go that same route.

Time alone ― don't watch T.V., don't get on the computer, take time to learn something about yourself. Push yourself to new limits and don't be afraid to get outside of your comfort zone. :)

Peace and love, have a great weekend!

Love,
Jen

On the Road Again

Just checking in. Just wanted to let everyone know that I am officially on the road. :)
I have been driving for a few days and it feels great. The independence this brings is such a rewarding experience.

I have been making a lot of strides over this past week and I continue to understand what all of this means ― on the bigger scale. I think I have figured out a way to put on make-up as well. I have ordered a few things to help out so I will keep you posted as to whether or not I end up looking like a clown.

Today is my hubby's birthday and I am happy to say that I will be driving him to breakfast to start a great day.

Learn something new everyday and enjoy the little accomplishments ― it really can do a lot for the soul.

Love,
Jen

Remember: Ginger Rogers Did Everything Fred Astaire Did but Backwards and In Heels

I want to thank everyone who supported my family and Dad through this tough time of losing my grandmother. The friends that came to Abilene made it all so special and really warmed my dads heart. The funeral was beautiful. It was great seeing everyone and hope to see you again very soon!

We had a nice weekend and a wonderful dinner with friends on Saturday. My two dear friends, Jill and Shannon came in town last night and are spending the week with me. We have been planning this week for a while so we are so happy to be together. My lovely husband made us dinner last night and we just talked forever ― these are the moments to treasure.

My great friend Somer took me to see an amazing speaker this week (warrenmacdonald.com) at the Gaylord this week. He is an Aussie and a very inspirational person. I am going to be following him as we all should. If we ever need a little emotional boost just take a look at his story. :)

I am getting my car fixed up today so I will be able to drive. I am really looking forward to this independence and having the ability to put a little more freedom into my daily life.

The title of this post ― I was greeted with an awesome package this weekend. Nancy sent me the best plaque ever. The background says "YOU GO GIRL" with the above title on top. It was such a motivating thing for me and put a smile on my face. THANK YOU so much Nancy!

I have a doctor appointment. this week for a follow-up on my new Fred & Ginger's as well as getting my hands started ― yeah! I'm really looking forward to it.

Matthew started 4th grade today. He is very excited and we are so looking forward to this year. This is a new year in so many ways and we are anxious to see what it will bring.

Love,
Jen

The New Fred & Ginger, Losing a Loved One

Hi all. First of all, we have had a lot going on so I apologize for the late note.

Our week in OKC went really well and I am officially in my new Fred & Ginger's. I have been doing quite a bit and it feels so good. I have even gotten in the swimming pool ― so much fun. However, to answer the question ― I did sink, ha. We had a quick swimming lesson with floaties and it was good from there! :)

Getting fitted for my hands may be another month or so. There is additional growing that is occurring so we just need a little more time. It's really quite encouraging to know how much you can do without them!

As some of you are already aware, my grandmother (father's mother) passed away this week from a stroke and other complications. The funeral will be this Thursday at 10:00 AM in Abilene, Texas. She was a person who always had a smile on her face and provided me with the best dad in the world. We will really miss her but we are glad that she is in a better place.

Thank you all so much for all of your comments, cards and continued strength you have provided us. My family has been through a lot this year but as I told someone today ― I truly believe that the timing of everything and the reasons for this year are so much bigger than us. We are all growing in ways that we never would have and I believe the answers/directions are yet to come and will be enlightening.

Dad, I love you and we are all here for you. Mom & Nick ― you are my light.

Love,
Jen

Another Crazy Week

It is Thursday evening and HOT in Dallas. We have had quite a week. Jenny has been in OKC working with Scott Sabolich and his team this week on a new pair of legs. She will go back in 10 days or so for adjustments but she is excited with the progress thus far.

I have been in Abilene as Randy's mother and Jenny's "Mimi" suffered a large stroke and is in the hospital there. Randy left today from Wichita to be with her and his brother Richard and sister Rae Jean. I am hoping to go back tomorrow until Sunday. She is such a kind hearted, sweet woman and it is hard to understand why things like this happen when they do. We will have many decisions to make as it looks as if she won't be able to return to her home. A lot to think about and do and figure out. Please say an extra prayer for her tonight.

Sharon and Glenn Ringler are on their way to MD Anderson tomorrow for her surgery. They were coming through Dallas but with this newest development, won't make that stop this time. She is so positive and things will be okay for her I just know it.

Jen has a busy week ahead and I will be here to help her and Nick. Jen continues to fight the fight and work hard at making her life matter. She wants so much to give back and support other people who have had the challenges she has. As she continues to get stronger and find her way, she keeps her sense of humor and humility. I am so proud of her as I know all of you who are walking with her are.

My sister Martha is staying at our house in Wichita having a slumber party with Sneakers..she said they might even have a Black Russian as a nightcap! Sneak will love that; as a 14 1/2 year old Golden Retriever she is entitled, don't you think?

All for now. I miss you all so much and thanks for all the comments. Ann, I saw Matt's apartment when I was in Abilene and he does have the perfect place for plants. He is going to take your good advice and find the right ones. Tell Walt I said hi!

Love,
Marilyn

Family and Fun

I wanted to thank my wonderful friend Cecile and mom for making yesterday such a special treat. I had an awesome facial and a massage that made me feel like a "girl" again. I have to admit that I was a little nervous on the massage due to body image (but who doesn't have those thoughts).

However, once I got in my mind that it was going to feel good to me no matter what, it became the best massage ever. Girls, God created us the way we should be and we need to forget about our thighs, cottage cheese, etc. and just live life to the fullest, ha. :)

We also had a really fun evening at my aunt's house last night. My dad's sister lives about an hour from here so we all (mom, dad, both Matt's, Nick and Ryan) went there for dinner. We had not been together like that in a while. The evening was one laugh after another.

I am truly at a place of moving forward with my life. To do that, I started with a phone call this morning to the local United Nations group that I am a part of and had a great conversation about getting back into the volunteer role. I'm looking forward to getting back with my friends.

It was great talking to Judy, Gaylin and Mart yesterday. I miss you all and can't wait to see you soon.

We are going out to dinner tonight with the "usual suspects" for Italian. Should be fun.

Have a great day and I will talk to you soon.

Love,
Jen

New Developments

Hi all! I hope everyone has had a good week so far. I have had a really busy but positive week.

Nick and I have made our decision on prosthesis and we are going to Oklahoma City :) We are really happy to be moving forward and to see what is yet to come. We have an appointment this coming Monday for a new fitting and new socket. We really feel that this is a place that can provide us with the newest and best technology. :)

We also went to Fossil Rim this week in Glen Rose, TX. For those who aren't familiar, this is like a safari in Texas. We drive our car through a guided road and see animals from all over. The animals come up to the car and we feed them. It was such a great time. We saw giraffes, zebras, deer, eagles, water buffalo, ostrich, emus, and a lot of other roaming animals that actually stick their heads in passing cars to get their grub on!

Ryan and I have had a great time this week. Since he's 6'3" he can lift me with ease and can just toss me into the passenger seat! We've rented movies, eaten out, played chess, and Ryan even uses Matthew's electric scooter to zoom to CVS for my scripts!

Charlotte and Beth at rehabilitation have really been pushing me to get my coordination and strength back. I've had to learn how to balance on my knees while randomly pushing me at different directions to improve my reaction time.

They are really keeping me on my toes, no pun intended! I'll post more later this weekend.

Love,
Jen

¡Amigos Felices De Sábado!

So happy it's Saturday. I just got back from a great ride with Nick to get breakfast and am looking forward to hanging out with my brother, Ryan, today.

As mom said below, I had lunch at Bentree this week and had such a great time. I was so happy to be able to thank everyone for the wonderful support they have given to Nick and I. I feel so blessed that we have such amazing people around us.

I had a great visit yesterday from my high school friend and college roomate, Kirsten. We chated for hours and swapped pictures of our families. Lots of fun and laughs.

My dad's sister has sent me copies of The Godfather movies as I have never seen them (can you believe that??). So I am getting caught up on them. What a great flick.

Little Matthew will be with us for 2 weeks, starting today, so we are really looking forward to that. He has been such a trooper through all of this and has always put a smile on my face.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll write early next week.

Love,
Jen

Thanks Once More

I can hardly believe it will be a week tomorrow since the Broadlane luncheon and auction for Jen. It was so wonderful to have the chance to meet many of the people she has talked about and very humbling to experience such generosity. We had such a fun day and are still talking about it all of the time!

The week has been busy as usual. We have continued to research the best options for Jen long term and it seems as if Nick and she are close to making the right decision. Ryan came yesterday for 10 days and will be filling in as her "personal assistant" as I have just returned to Wichita for a few days. I have already talked to them both and it seems as if they are doing fine without me! :) I plan to return early next week and am hopeful that we will be moving forward with the more permanent prosthetics.

Today, the ladies golf group at Bentree, invited Jen to lunch so they could all meet each other and it was a great time. Cecile and Ann were of course on hand and made sure all went smoothly.

Kirsten, another long time frind of Jen's will be coming by the house to spend time with her tomorrow. She brought some great meals to freeze and have for the days ahead. It is so thoughtful and Jen is excited to have the time with her to catch up.

All for now...just checking in, but I am sure we will have bigger news soon. Just wanted to say say thank you again for all of the selfless acts of love and kindness that have come our way. I wish there were the right words to express how we all feel and how truly grateful we are.

Look forward to all of the new posts...wasn't that amazing from Betty in Louisiana? How special!! Jen is going to keep posting at least once or twice a week to keep everyone updated on her progress.

Thank you to everyone!

Love,
Marilyn

The Power of Friendship

Hi all! It's Sunday night and it's been a great weekend. My weekend started on Thursday with my best friends Jill and Shannon (friends from 3rd and 4th grade) coming into town and staying up with me all night telling stories and laughing. My poor husband kept talking until he fell asleep but still managed to keep a smile on his face. :)

Friday I was surprised by my brother and uncle coming to Dallas for the luncheon at my work along with Brenda and Michelle from high school. My friends at Broadlane did such a great job with the auction and absolutely made our day. It was such a special thing to have been a part of and feel so lucky that I have been blessed with the generosity that has come my way. The effort and donations that were made will be forever in my thoughts.

Saturday morning was spent with my husband running errands and realizing how much we have missed doing these things. It was a great way to start my day. I spent the rest of the day with Jill and Shannon and realizing that without each others love and support we wouldn't be the same. How precious is that! I also had a great surprise visit from one of my nurses and it was such an emotional thing to have a conversation with a person who helped save my life, very rewarding for both of us.

My cousin Sarah turned 21 today! Happy birthday and can't wait to see you! My younger brother Ryan is coming on Wednesday and staying for 10 days and I am really looking forward to this.

We have an appointment in St. Louis tomorrow and will hopefully have a plan for prosthetics this week. Mom misses you all and I want to thank all of her friends for always being there. It means the world to her. Mother Muffy, I'm counting down the days. :)

Love,
Jen

Silent Online Auction

For those who aren't aware, the company that I work for, Broadloane, Inc. and all of the generous employees who work with me, have sponsored an online auction.

There are lots of wonderful items to bid on and they have worked so hard to put this together, so I wanted to share it with all of you!

http://stores.ebay.com/Jennifer-Griffin-Fundraiser-2007

We had a fun evening at Walt and Ann's last night. It was mom's birthday and Ann prepared a delicious meal! Cecile and Harry were also there and she brought a great dessert! It was so special and I am so appreciative.

We have learned about a new hand termed the iHand and are gathering information to see if I could possible be a candidate. I will keep you posted.

I am looking forward to the luncheon Friday at Broadlane and seeing all my co-workers who I miss so much. Shannon, Jill and Pam are coming from Kansas as well as other friends from here and some of my family so it promises to be a VERY special time.

Love,
Jen

Four Months Later

Hey! This is Jen and it's 8:15 on Sunday night. We jut finished a wonderful lasagna dinner to celebrate mom's birthday. I spent yesterday cooking the lasagna (in my own little way) with a friend and her family and it was really fun.

Last night I had dinner at one of my favorite restaurants with some great friends of the family. She has cancer and is such an inspiration for me and has such a beautiful spirit. Take time for friendships, because they keep your soul happy.

I have had so much fun reading the comments on the blog and am so thrilled that I have inspired "strangers" to comment. Whenever I have a tough moment I read these comments and realize how lucky I really am.

I have a few more appointments this week and hope to make a decision very soon. Miss you all and looking forward to seeing everyone this weekend.

Love,
Jen

Another Friday Night in Dallas

Hi everyone, I am trying hard to get to sleep and not doing very well. It has been several days since I checked in and thought it was time.

We have had another busy week. Jen continues to work hard in rehabilitation. She has had another appointment with a "hand specialist" in Ft. Worth and she is weighing all of the pros and cons of the options that are available to her.

I continue to be amazed at her strength and determination. Our friends, Sharon and Glenn Ringler are coming tomorrow as Sharon has another appointment with her doctors at MD Anderson on Monday. They have known Jen since she was 3 months old, so we have lots to talk about. Pray for her, as she has been working with chemotherapy for several months and has lots to tackle in the months ahead.

Little Matthew will be with us tomorrow night, and Jen is looking forward to that...he is so upbeat and fun and helpful.

Tomorrow morning our friend and "makeup artist", Cecile, is coming to help Jen with her makeup..she and Ann will start the day off right!

I miss you all so much but am so thankful that I have the ability and support from my work to be here. Randy and Martha will be back next weekend and we are really looking forward to that.

Don, the wonderful methodist minister that has befriended Jen and our family, gave us a CD of a sermon he preached about her...it was such a gift, as is he.

Our dear friend Taylor Hess will be leaving for Japan soon. He came to visit Jenny a couple of weeks ago and really made her week. Another special person, among so many we all are thankful for.

All for now. Just wanted to touch base and let you know we are so appreciative of all of the cards and notes and support. The days get awfully long and there are some pretty rough moments, but we just keep on going one step at a time.

Love,
Marilyn

Ditched My Crutches!

Since my last post, I have decided to walk without my crutches. I feel like a little kid but it feels so good. I walked on my own with Nick and my Dad and watching their faces made me soooo happy. I am starting to see so much that is out there and what I can do but...it's what I make of it.

Life is always a journey but, we can create an environment to make the journey special. I have learned patience, love and a little engineering, ha. :) Make everyday special and take note in the inherent beauty of all things simple.

I had a great weekend with my family. My grandmother came down with my aunt along with my uncle Steve from Chicago. I also had a special visit from from my beautiful friend Jill and her husband. I have been so lucky to have reunited with so many friends - I thank all of you for the love and support and know that I have a smile each time I hear from you.

I am also down to 3 days a week for rehab. This is great for me as I have time to get back into life and run errands with mom and Nick. I don't know what I would do without them.

I am going swimming this weekend - wish me luck as I may sink. :) I'll write again soon. Love, Jen.

The Life of Fred and Ginger

Hi everyone!! I finally have an afternoon to "relax" and catch up on a few things (i.e. the blog). One major news story is that of my two new friends...Fred and Ginger. Being as though I am now an amputee, I have found that there is an area that needs to be tapped into and it's called HUMOR.

I no longer have prosthetics or legs, I am proudly walking with Fred and Ginger. Fred gets out of line from time to time but I pivot and Ginger takes control (the female of course).

As mom said, I have gone to the movie this week, had a wonderful haircut with a great friend, visited my nurses in ICU - great treat for all and...I am going to practice driving today. Nick and Dad were both a little slow to say they would help me, Ha. So, if you are reading this and live within 5 miles....this is your warning.

Because I am learning something everyday, I realize just how fortunate I am. I would not have the desire, motivation, want or curiosity for life without the love that my parents and family have shown me while growing up. I know this must be one of the most difficult things as a parent but just know that I will make you proud.

Nick is a bonus that god brought to me as well and for that I am grateful. Miss and love you all. Love, Jen.

Five More Days

I can't believe it has been 5 days since we last posted. The days just seem to melt away and before we know it we are all getting ready for bed. I know Jen and Nick plan to write again soon and that will happen when they can find a few minutes to sit down together.

We have learned that although Jen loves being home, it is very busy not having the support of nursing and other staff. We are doing well though, and she is so relieved to be around her own things and in her own place. Each day is consumed with getting ready and driving to rehab. The schedule varies but we need to plan on at least 4 hours to get this accomplished. She is enjoying the new staff and has been her path up to now, is doing more than expected of her.

Today, she had an appointment with her plastic surgeon at Medical City. He was very pleased with her progress and following this visit, she was able to connect with some of her other doctors as well as visit CICU, which had been her home for so long. She missed some of the staff she wanted to see, so hopes to return soon to "show off".

This weekend, she is looking forward to her Uncle Steve and her Grammy coming to visit, as well as our friend Bill Hess on Friday. Her Aunt RaeJean came today for a bit from Ft. Worth area..Randy's sister...and brought a great dinner.

We had a great weekend with Matt and Christy..loved celebrating her birthday and being with them. They both are so much fun and Jen loves having them with her.

On Sunday, Jen had a chance to go to a movie and dinner with her friend Steph, which was such a wonderful treat...she was tired but had a ball.

We have a lot to tackle as a family and lots of challenges ahead but we know we aren't alone. You are all so precious and so valued...priceless really. We continually thank God for the love and support and friendships. I have been told people read this blog that we have never met and whom have never met Jen but still pray for her. How amazing is that?

As I always say...we will try to do better about posting in a more "timely" fashion. We count on each and every one of you. Love, Marilyn.

Friday Night

We have had quite a week.

Jenny has gone to outpatient rehab every day and has worked very hard. She has graduated to forearm crutches and is working dilegently at keeping her balance and walking more each day. Martha and Randy came on the 4th and today Martha and I took Jen to get her eyebrows waxed! It was so fun and she loved doing something normal for a change.

Wednesday night, Jen and Nick surprised Martha and I with tickets to the Clay Aiken concert and fireworks show in Frisco! It was so fun and really good..it had finally stopped raining for us to have a great night! The night before, we had a lovely evening at Cecile and Harry's with Ann and Walt. This was Jenny's first real "outing" since March and we had a wonderful meal and watched the fireworks from Cecile's backyard. We also got to meet Cecile's daughter which was fun as we had heard so much about her.

Matt is coming tonight and we are going to celebrate Christy's birtday tomorrow when she flies in from K.C. around noon.

Sorry it has been so long since we last wrote but the days fly by and time just gets away. We love to read what you all take the time to post and say so please hang in there with us...I will try to post again soon! Love to all, Marilyn.

My New Life at Home

Hi all!!!!!!! I am actually typing this one myself. I practiced yesterday for a bit and got so excited when I found out that I can type (never mind that it takes 20 mins. for a few sentences-ha). As my mom said, we are so happy to be home. I started outpatient rehab this morning and it went great. The therapists are really going to be good. The gym has bikes and treadmills so I can get back into the swing of things. We also found great resources for sport activities so that I can lead a pretty normal life.

The challenges that I am going through are ones that I never thought I would be experiencing. However, without the love and support of all my friends and family, this would be the hardest road of all. I have honestly found who my true friends are and even reconnected with some that I never should have let get away. I love you all. Mom, Nick and my family, thanks for all that you do your the wind beneath my wings.

TALK TO U SOON. LUV, JEN.

First Night at Home!

It is raining again but..when we left the hospital it was sunny..one of the few days since March 23 so, I choose to think it was a sign of things to come. Jen and Nick are setteled in to their room and are looking forward to thier first night of good sleep in months!

Jen was so excited to finally leave a hospital setting today..we packed up and finally were on the road by noon. We stopped to pick up some lunch and then made our way to the house. Nick had things in order and some surprises for her which was so fun. Our friend Walt had brought all of the "durable medical goods" as well as her clothes, etc. to the house as their car was already packed. Our friend Trina had arranged for a housekeeper so all would be in good shape when we arrived. Ann and Cecile broght a wonderul dinner and stayed for a bit to visit and help us welcome Jen home. She was tired but happy and I still am in a bit of awe that we have really finally made it this far. Steph and Scott have ordered some neat "gadgets" for Jen to help her while she continues in outpatient rehab..which we begin at 8 a.m. on Monday.

So many people have helped get us to this point..and contine to help her take steps forward. The three of us talked tonight about how unbelievable this trip has been and how many stops we will continue to make to the final destination. Thank you so very much for taking this tri[p with us...and continuing to to prop us all up! Jen loved her time with Taylor and Judy this week as well and Gaylin and Bebe eariler.

I am sure that Jen will write tomorrow but for now, I am saying goodnight! Love, Marilyn.

Homecoming!

Jen, I'm sure you will be soooo relieved when you get back to headquarters. You are a true fighter and the strongest, most motivated person I've ever known. You have without even trying, taught many lessons about the meaning of life to myself as well as hundreds of others, literally. We have been through a lot! I say we because as friends and family we will all continue moving forward as one and watching you improve day to day. I want to say thank you to the friends of Jens and myself who have been there with us through this entire experience. We have a great family and I thank God everyday for all of you. As many of you know, Christy has been a major support system for myself as well as my family. I am really blessed to have this women in my life. I have met many people through all of this and I've seen the good in everyone. As human beings we are all somewhat connected no matter how you look at it and It's very refreshing to see people come together and show such love and concern for the well being of another. Last weekend when we were in the hallway with Jen, we were hanging out with her while she was practicing walking and getting used to moving around again. I was seriously stunned and I mean that in every sense of the word. She did a great job and when it did get frustrating, she laughed or smiled right through it. I just cannot believe the intensity and her will to overcome and achieve. God has blessed us with an angel. She's always been one and I've never been more honored than I am now, to say that Jen is my Sister. Over the years she has really helped me with everyday life. She always listens and everytime she has positive, truthful things to say. I love you Jen and want to remind you of the huge cirle of support and love around you. Not that you don't see it everyday through visitors, calls, emails, this blog, etc....But, I just want to point out that this is the love that love was built on. You Nick and Matthew have a wonderful future ahead of you and I'm looking forward to seeing it all unfold and blossom. I love you very much and again, thank you for being the best Sister on the planet. To our friends and my Family, I love you all and will see you and talk to you soon.

Bon Voyage...Finally Going Home!

Today was an exciting one as we found out I will be discharged on Friday! After 3 months and 7 days away and lots up ups and downs I am so excited and so ready! Nick and mom will be with me and we hope to home early afternoon. I will continue as an outpatient daily for some time to come but it will so good to sleep in my own bed and be around our things. Nick has rearranged the furniture and from what I hear, it looks great!

I am having a visit from Judy Hess and Taylor tomorrow and am told Kathy Potts and Gayla may stop in too. Connie is coming this Saturday and staying until Sunday afternoon so all in all we have a busy weekend.

All for now but wanted to let you all know the latest and hope to talk to everyone again soon!

Love, Jen

P.S. I will keep you updated on all my progress!!

Another Week in Texas

Hi all! It is about 10:30 and I just heard from Ryan. He, Martha and Randy are about an hour from Wichita. Matt called and is in Abilene by now, as are Terri and Richard. Christi is back in K.C. We had lots of fun together and Jen again came home for a bit this afternoon. We fired up the grill and had a great meal..and lots of laughs. After everyone left, our friends (and sisters!) Gaylin and Bebe came to visit me tonight. They are here for market but also to see Jen and to work their magic! :> This is their 3rd trip since she became so sick and it is great to hear how overwhelmed they are when they see how far she has come!

I am thinking of Marie as we had lots of time together while she was here. I know she is back to work by now. Jen said she called today and it is really cold in Australia..I think the temp was 17 degrees!

We will check in again as the week progresses..I think we will have lots to report as she seems to tackle a new challange daily. Many thanks for all of your continued prayers and support and cards. We looked at many of them again today and she cherishes them all so much. We are anticpating Judy and Taylor coming on Wednesday as well as Kathy Potts and Gayla T. for a bit. Connie will be here Saturday for a couple of days so we have a lot to look forward to.
Hope the week is a good one for all...Love, Marilyn.

Another Week Closer to Home

Hi everyone! I have had a very busy but productive week! My muscles are getting bigger and bigger (ha, ha) but I honestly enjoy and look forward to my therapy. I am looking forward to the weekend with Little and Big Matthew, Ryan, and the rest of the family. I am able to go home again for a bit this weekend which should be a lot of fun.

I have heard from many people from my years in the Maize school system. It has meant so very much and I want to thank all of you for reaching out to me and putting a smile on my face. It is so refreshing to know that you have taken time from your lives to help me through this...I would love to communicate with each of you more so am including my email address...griffinja123@gmail.com.

I also want to thank my wonderful husband for staying with me every single night since March 23 and for loving me the way that you do. I wouldn't want to face this challange with anyone but you.

Have a great weekend everyone! Love, Jen

Another Good Day

I am writing this at Jen and Nick's house...I returned round 7 to find myself locked out and Nick was working late so couldn't bail me out for a couple of hours. I told myself that although I was looking forward to changing clothes and relaxing after a long day at the hospital...this was a minor inconvience in the scheme of things. I went to the grocery store, bought some take out and OFF spray to combate the mosquitoes and setteled in on the deck.

What we have been through, and most importantly what Jenny has been through, sure makes you take stock in what matters in life. Since she has been off of the vent, I have yet to walk into her room and not recieve a smile and a Hi Mom! I don't know how she does what she does every day but those of you that have walked with us, understand. It is amazing...Walt came today and brought some wonderful bar-b-que for lunch.

This is a man, who before March 23 had never known Jennifer or our family and yet he makes the effort to come and be present every single day. He is truly an angle walking among us and I look forward to the day that all of you who have been on this journey can meet him. He will say..Jen, I will go..you need some private time and she will say..No Walt..I want you with me. In the midst of all of this pain and sadness, we meet a truly special man. This is not to mention his wonderful wife Ann and her dear friend and ours, Cecile.

They will come to Wichita one day and you will see..I miss all of you at home who are always there and who make every day OK..somehow, we keep moving forward and it is only because of Jenny and her spirit and YOU all and your loyalty. Thank you over and over again...I am sure Jen will write again soon with some new accomplishment..look for the latest update! We love you...Marilyn

Our Girl is Walking Again!

It has been an amazing couple of days. Yesterday Jen tried on some temporary prosthetics to begin the process of standing and then slowly walking again. But in a typical display of strength, courage and determination she began to walk on only her second day! She has amazed the rehab staff at Zale Lipshey with her excelerated improvement and continues to be an enormous insperation. It seems like every day I am in disbelief at how far she has come.

It was great to have her home on Sunday for what was the best fathers day one could ever imagine. Mum also flew home to Oz tonight. She has been a source of great help and support to us and we cant wait to come and visit next year. We love you very much.

Babe, you are truely incredible. Seeing you smile from ear to ear in the face of such a challenge is humbling. I am so proud of you and as we take this journey I find myself feeling something that I did not think possible, a feeling of falling deeper and deeper in love with you.

Love, Hubby.

What a Day!

We had a wonderful day..I am sure Jen and Nick will write tomorrow but wanted to say a few words. Randy and I met Nick at the hospital and were able to get Jen ready to travel by 1:30. Randy and I followed Jen and Nick and were met at their home by Marie and Matthew. Marie had prepared a wonderful meal and Matthew had helped her set the table.

We exchanged Father's Day gifts and Nick said a toast to Jen's first day home since March 23! It was lots or fun and at the same time tiring for Jenny. Nick and she left for the hospital around 6:30 so she would meet curfew (:>} and Marie, Randy and I sat and talked for a bit more before she leaves for Australia on Tuesday. Big Matthew had spent the weekend with Christy and her father's family in Arkansas but was meeting Jen at Zale around 7 P.M. before driving back to Abilene. All in all, the day was a wonderful one and one for which we are all so grateful to have had together.

We are thinking of all of you and hoping your day was also special. I will write again soon...this will be another big week and I will keep you up to date on the new developments. Love to all the Dads out there and all of the families who love them. Love, Marilyn.

Finally Going Home...For a Moment

It is a rainy Saturday morning and I have recruited a 9 year old secretary who's name is Matthew. We just grabbed breakfast and we wanted to share our good news. Doctors have approved time for me to go home for a few hours on Sunday for fathers day. My dad is in town (aka Rando)and we are going to eat dinner at the house. As I have not seen my house in months I am very exited to be home with my hubby and family. I hope every one has a great fathers day. Love, Jen.

Another Week Gone By

Hi everyone...it is Friday evening and Randy and I are just getting ready for bed. It is so good to have him here with me for the weekend. Jen had a busy day..even got the molds for her leg prothesis started and worked hard in PT and OT. She has been given permission to go to their home for Father's day and is looking forward to that first outing. Marie and I were given lessons today and hope we don't flunk when put to the test! Little Matthew and Nick are both staying in the room tonight which will be fun..it is a small suite and Matthew will have his own bed and TV so will feel like a slumber party.

Jenny had several visitors today as well as many phone calls and cards. Her days are usually busy until around 3 but following that, her time is more her own. We went to the gift shop in Zale where she picked out some things and had fun doing something "normal". My eyes are closing as I type so will sign off for now..just wanted to say hi to all of our loyal friends who check in daily. Again and again we tell each other that this support is like air and water and keeps us going hour after hour...we love you all so much.

Will write again soon. Love, Marilyn.

Things Going Well At Zale

Hi everyone.I have once again recruited a new secretary,my lovely husband. We are about to eat breakfast as we update this blog. Currently my days consist of 3 hours of both physical and occupational therapy. This has been challenging yet very rewarding. Some cool things I have learned include being able to feed myself, brush my teeth and with assistance take a shower.
The therapists that I work with are amazing and my progress has been faster than expected. So much so that today I will be molded for prosthetics on my legs. The completion of this process will take at least a month.

I miss everyone and I cant wait to be out of hospital to resume spending time with the people I love. I could not have gotten this far without the support and love of everyone. Love, Jen.

Correction

It has been brought to my attention that we had the wrong address on the blog...it is 5151 Harry Hines blvd 75235. We had it as 5252...so hope no one got lost coming to visit...:> The secetary must have hit the wrong keys! OK..all for now, Marilyn.

New Address

Hey all..I am writing without Jen and Nick..I am sure they will write again soon..but I wanted to take the opportunity to send an update.

Jen had a busy day..met her therapists..and spent several different sessions in rehab. She was so tired when we got back around 5 but..felt good overall and was excited to be spending her days doing something positive.

She looked so good and healthy in the workout clothes Walt had gotten for her..and was proud of the strength she had displayed today.

Marie and I actually spent the afternoon having a massage...it was heaven..and we felt renewed! Jen couldn't wait to hear all about our adventure and laughed with us when we told her about another lost experience we had trying once again to find Target!

Nick was encouraged when he spoke with the rehab. Doc today..and is hopeful that prothesis fittings will be "sooner rather than later".

All for now..I am constantly amazed at the strength Jen continues to show us every single day..even if she is my daughter, I have to say how proud I am to have her in my life and how grateful I am to have all of you helping us...I promise you that you will probably never know how much you have helped and how thankful we all are.

Sleep well...and keep talking to her..it is so appreciated. Love, Marilyn.

Moving Day Update!

First I want to thank all of you who made my birthday such a special one! I received over 80 cards! The gifts, flowers, phone calls and visits made me remember how blessed I am. We crammed my whole family as well as several friends into my little room for a final party before I leave Medical City!
Speaking of that, the move date has been changed to tomorrow and I hope to be on the road by 10 a.m. Nick, Marie and Mom as well as Walt will be caravaning behind the ambulance as we make our way to Zale Lipshey Hospital. For those that don't know the address is:

Zale Lipshey Hospital
5252 Harry Hines Blvd
Rehab Center, 8th floor
Dallas, TX 75390

PH: 214 645 4890.

We have spent some of today packing and figuring out what to take to my new digs. I can't wait to see my new room and meet the staff and get on with my journey.
For now, I am saying goodbye to the wonderful people who have helped me get this far the past 3 months. It is hard to believe that I have been here since March 23..and all of you have been walking beside me for that long. How do you say thank you for that kind of support...just know that I KNOW how very lucky I am...and can't wait until the day will come when I can thank you all in person.

I will write again soon..hopfully with news of the "tricks" I am learning.

Love and many thanks again for making me feel so loved...Thanks for making me feel so special.

Jennifer

G'day From Sydney

G'day Jen from Trina, Stephen & Cameron in Sydney. We've been following your progress here on your blog and miss seeing you since we left in May. Great great news to hear you are able to get outside and sitting up more. Guess the rain hasn't been stopping your visits outside.

We look forward to visiting you in your new abode in rehab next week. It's great to hear that Dr. Weathers visited you... he made have been on TV but did you tell him you spoke at the United Nations? We are very proud of you and all of your progress over the past months.

Best to you, Nick and Matthew! Love from the Butlers

Jen's New Address

Hey guys...it's Jen! I have recruited a new secretary until Ryan returns...her name is...Mom! :) I have had a great week. On Tuesday I was told I will be moving to rehab next Tuesday. I am very excited as this is the next step in my journey! We have even been guaranteed a two room suite with a beautiful view of downtown Dallas. So, there will be lots of more space when you come to visit. Another exciting bit of news was my personal visit from Dr. Beck Weathers. For those who aren't familiar with him, he was left for dead and lost both his nose and hands as a result of a terrible accident while climbing Mount Everest. There was a television story as well as a book written about his experiences, and...he was kind enough to share some inspiration and strength with me. Nick, Marie, Judy and Mom happened to be in the room and we were all mesmerized with his story. I have been outside several times this week and am sitting up more and more each day.

Thanks to Jill and Shannon for a wonderful weekend! I can't wait to see you both again soon. I will post again this weekend. Love, Jennifer.

P.S. Cecile, did you get the opportunity to grace the Bahamas with your presence? :) Hope you didn't get stuck...see you soon.

From Liz

Hi Jen. This is Liz Stevenson, Brandon Hoskin’s girlfriend! Brandon emailed me the link to your blog and I wanted to say hi. I have been reading all the blogs to stay updated and I have been blown away. You have shown strength, courage and faith at a time in your life that only special people can show. I have heard so much about you from Brandon and Ryan and I was thrilled to have met you on your wedding day. You looked absolutely beautiful! As I sat there and watched you walk down the hill to your wonderful husband I sat there and thanked God for blessing you with so much. Just by reading Nick’s blogs to you I know that you are one lucky woman! I thank God for placing Brandon in my life because without him I would have never met Ryan, Matt and your wonderful parents and then you! You and your family are in my prayers and I want to encourage you to continue to be strong because you have touched me in a way that I cannot explain.

Hugs,

Liz

Back In Dallas

Good Morning All! Judy and I arrived back in Dallas Monday afternoon in another rainstorm! Randy had waited to leave until we arrived so had a few minutes together before he headed home.

Jen had moved during the few days I was gone so I had to find her new room. It feels so odd not going into CICU but this change is a move in the right direction. The nursing care is "less than desirable" but, together and with Jen's direction, we are able to figure most things out. Nick took her downstairs to the atrium area for dinner and I know it felt good to her to have some new scenery. She continues to heal and we are counting the days until the big move to Zale.

Shannon and Jill were here this weekend and Jenny loved them being with her.She said they laughed a lot and Jill worked some magic on her hair...Jenny said she cried when they left but is looking forward to their next trip. Thank you both for making such efforts and for being so loyal...

We are looking at a busy week...Jen's Grammy..my mother, will be here Thursday and this weekend we will welcome Uncle Steve, Richard and Terri, Martha, Matt, Ryan..Marie and Matthew of course, and many friends as we celebrate Jenny's birthday. Wouldn't it be great if she was in Rehab by then...doubtful BUT...it will happen soon.

OK..all for now...just checking in as we start the day and will hopfully have more to report soon. Thanks to all of you for your continued support...she continues to move ahead a bit at a time on this long oddysey..and counts on all of you for guidance and love.

Marilyn

Message From Jen

Hi everyone, it is Jen again. It was sad to leave SICU after getting to know the medical staff. However, my new room has an awesome view of downtown Dallas and is less noisy and more private. Yesterday was a busy day and provided me the opportunity to spend the entire day with Marie. I also had Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and all of my bandages changed.

The wounds are healing nicely and I should be out of hospital within the next 10-15days.I am looking forward to starting the second part of the journey in Rehab Hospital. For those in Dallas or planning to visit, my room number is 978 Building A tower north.

Love and miss you all, Jen.

Back in Wichita

Hi all..it is late on Wednesday evening and I am having a bit of a problem getting to sleep. Martha and I came home today for a bit to regroup before I return to be with Jen. Randy will go back Friday and I will meet him there..we are hoping to at least say hello before he heads back to work. It felt so odd walking into the house tonight..I look forward to catching up on some things but my heart is with Jen in Dallas.

As Nick said, the Zale clinic seemed to be the right place..we have tried our best to discuss the pros and cons of rehab clinics and although all we have seen or researched are topnotch, we all felt most comfortable, overall, with the Zale Lipsey choice. When Jen will actually transfer is still not certain, but it is sooner rather than later and we are all ready for that day.

This morning, Jen was able to experience an actual shower while in CICU! What a treat for her and as she said, it felt wonderful. This afternoon, she had her graft sight bandages changed which is a painful process, but as usual, she made us proud, and...we were encouraged that the areas looked good and were beginning to heal as hoped.

It seems as if she will be transferring to a medical floor in the next day or two which is a good thing. Although we are all comfortable with CICU and the care there overall, if she is stable enough to find a new home..then, that is what should happen.

While we are gone, I am so relieved that Nick's mom, Marie, will be able to spend more time with Jenny. She is such a great and strong woman and we are all so happy to call her family.

Jill and Shannon will return this weekend and will be able to spend a "girls only" day together..Jenny is looking forward to their trip and appreciates the efforts they have made so very much.

Now that Jen is getting so much stronger, she reads the blogs several times a day and is so grateful for all of your comments and posts and support. She received several cards today..and reads them over and over...we have a special box to keep them in. I can't thank you all enough for the love and time you spend in thinking and praying for her..as I have said so many times, this along with Nick, has helped keep her with us...not to mention her determination.

Walt..I will miss my daily doughnut fix but will see you soon and to Ann and Cecile as well as Don and Bill Matthews..you are so dear..how lucky we are to have you.

More soon...Love, Marilyn