Follow Your Own Guidance and You Will Never Be Alone; Trust Your Own Truths and Blue Skies Will Follow Wherever You Go

Every since my life was altered, I have had a constant internal battle with direction. The battle is having someone or something direct me versus figuring this out on my own, day by day. When I started to realize that I needed a different direction with rehab, I became in search of that "thing" that would bring me fulfillment that I was moving forward. I felt as if I needed a greater challenge but we couldn't figure out what that was. Again, is it my therapists job to guide me or do I take it to the next level on my own?

I started to work on my makeup, then driving, then stairs, then computer stuff. I even worked on a paint-by-number (it's on display at the Tate in London, haha). Then, I stopped looking so hard and I started to follow my heart.

I have mentioned before that I really enjoy yoga, however, my body no longer moves the same way and I can no longer bend like a pretzel :) So, as most of you know, my rehab is now Pilates & swimming. Pilates, even though different, has given me the great yoga-like feeling.

What I wanted to share with you is this, because I went back to what I know, I have been asked to participate in a wonderful pilates workshop in February. The information is www.optimisticrealism.com/pilates. There will be wonderful people from all over the world. My awesome trainer will be there to show others how this has worked for me and hopefully we can help others. I am looking forward to it.

Because I started to guide myself and have had an amazing trainer (along with an amazing friend who introduced us), I have never felt better about my accomplishments. This is hard work but in less than a year I have learned how to have the discipline I should have had all along.

I have had times of just wanting someone to give me a crystal ball and show me that it will all be okay. But, then I think that everyone thinks this way. Experiences are the way of life. If all else fails, go with what feels right. I am finally directing my rehabilitation and its great. Never take anything as it is. ou have the power to change and make it what you want.

You can't know wisdom. Wisdom you have to be.

Love,

Jen

Spiritual Mop

As we head into the eve of the new year I just had a little food for thought: a skeleton goes into a bar and says "I will have a beer and...a mop, please." Haha!

I thought this was cute but also very fitting for the occasion. How many times do we do things thinking we can cover up the holes or voids, only realize we can't, and we grab the mop to clean it up.

Some may have the view that God chose me because of something I did along the way and this is a form of punishment. OR others may have the notion that God chose his experience to fill up my voids and make me whole in other ways.

Whatever the view, just remember that we are entering a new year of which we can make many choices. Start to purge your thoughts, soul, spirit and change what you do this year. Make the holes smaller and smaller. The drinks are too good to be mopped up. :)

Additional food for thought: we are all "normal" until someone reminds us otherwise. I was at a store this week and got into the checkout line where my nickname became "dude." Mind you, I was so far removed from the idea of not having hands and was focused on getting to my next destination. The sales guy proceeds to say "dude, what is that called?"

My thought was "dude, my name is Jen and I have no idea what you are asking me." He was 20 something which gave me pause so I just smiled and said "uh, I don't know what you mean." Long story short, he was asking me about my hands. But between all the "dude" comments I wasn't so sure. We got to the bottom of his investigation and he finally told me that a good friend of his was born without hands. He told me his story and we got a quick surfer-bonding dude moment. :)

After I got in my car, I sat and thought about it. I really wasn't aware that he was referring to me. My point? I have a long way to go, as we all do in self-development, but having a day where you forget about the obvious feels really, really good. At the end of the day, we are all just moving parts to making the Earth a place we want it to be.

Make a difference! As I said below, look forward to a new blog, kids perspectives, how we have made our team, my upcoming surgery, and the continuation of this wild journey!

Love,

Jen

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I want to wish you all a wonderful Christmas day!

I feel so happy to be in this moment on this day with such a great family. Being here was so uncertain for so long that I feel like I should be celebrating the end of 2007 with my entire medical team, family, friends, and everyone that has had such a huge spiritual effect on me and who I still have yet to meet!

I had a cup of coffee with a retired friend of mine this past week who really made me think about life. I was watching him and listening to his words and you know what? Do everything that your heart desires (within reason, of course!). You don't want to be one of those "woulda, coulda, shoulda" people, do you? When we retire we eiher need to be talking about the things we have done or are just getting ready to do.

Our elders, parents, coaches, teachers (even politicians, but that is another website!) have a lot to say and offer ways to guiding us. We should try listening this next year and see how we change.

So many of us have the tools we need or want from life, but it's up to us to notice and grab them. You don't need a near death experience to grasp what life is about. However, because of my challenges, I am dancing to a different beat and being guided by the hands around me. That alone makes what is so important visible without even looking.

Merry Christmas! Be looking for my updated blog and my new information after the first of the year!

Ho Ho Ho,

Jen

P.S. Christy from Dallas, you are on my mind!

News for the New Year

Starting in January, if you can't reach me, it's because I'm back at work! I am headed back to the rat race. :) I'm looking forward to starting this next chapter. I was actually at work this morning and enjoyed seeing some great familiar smiles.

Until then, it's been one Christmas party after another this week. I have finished my shopping as well, yeah! This holiday season has meant more to me for obvious reasons, however, it has made me feel so blessed and excited that I am even here to celebrate.

I had such a humbling experience this week that I want to share with you all. I am not the type of person to share this, but I thought the emotions and lesson I learned should be expressed.

Nick and I were invited to a really nice Christmas party and had the opportunity to be seated with the host and some wonderful friends. To my surprise, the host went up to the microphone and started the party with a great welcome and then asked me to stand up. I was in the room with a large crowd and it was little intimidating! As I walked up to the microphone, people started to stand up one by one and clap.

I glanced around the room and realized all eyes were on me with my husband smiling and clapping with them. I had such a rush of emotions and felt it really hard to contain my composure. Knowing how hard I (and everyone else) have fought (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.) it was such a sense of accomplishment and understanding of the human spirit. It was such a surreal experience that made me feel like I am being guided by something that I can't explain. I will treasure that moment and feeling forever.

I am sharing this for two reasons. One, when I was in the hospital, sitting up and supporting myself and not allowing the "I can't do it" thoughts to enter my head were the biggest challenges of my day. Two, you can do it!

This gave me the "push" forward that I needed. My life is continually changing and I want everyone to think about those moments that you need a little push and how it feels once you have done it, whatever that may be.

I am so blessed to start 2008 with the feeling that I have such a curiosity, dedication and genuine love for life. I know there are several people close to me that have loved ones in a crises and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mom and Dad, Nick and my family: I am so honored to be your daughter, wife, sibling and friend. Thanks for providing me the tools to pull through and to have the stepping stones to build on. I have a few other things coming up after the first of the year that I'm looking forward to sharing with you.

Love,
Jen

Flying Solo

For those who read my last post, I had a few comments that said I went a little off course with that one. :) Ha! Okay, so for those who think the same, I was trying to make a point but rather than rehashing I will just save it for another day. Can't blame a girl for trying!

Anyway, hope everyone had a great weekend. I went to visit two of my best friends, by myself, and had such an awesome time. The first obstacle was getting through security without the help of others. Guess what? It took a little longer but I made it. I highly advise cutting in line, telling a security person your situation, and you will fly right through. The only difference is that you get searched a lot more and the conversations aren't that exciting! What is it with those people and humor?

I think this would have been a normal weekend except for the fact that this was my first trip with the girls since high school. I felt such a sense of independence this weekend but gained dependence for the friendships. These are the types of people and friendships that you can always count on in many ways. They will tell you when you are messing up as well as doing good. They spoiled me in the hospital, fussed at nurses when the service was a bit slow, made me a chart of when exactly I should be taking my medications versus taking them on Jen's schedule, and kept me smiling.

We are the same age but all in different places in our lives. As people go in and out of our lives we start to realize who will be in our corner and who won't. We also start to develop a network of people who are in our life for various reasons. Not everyone is in our life for the same reason, take everyone for who the are, not who you want them to be.

I have met really interesting people in various places. Over this holiday season make it a goal to meet someone new every week. People who may clean your house, take out your trash or hook up your cable may be the most interesting of all. Take time, at least once a week, to ask someone how they are and know if they have a family, have plans for the holiday, and so on.

I say this because if my friends would not have asked me a question or two. I wouldn't have the opportunity to be blessed with such great angels in my life. Not to mention my husband asking me if he could could "ring me" when he met me. Best question ever.


I have an understanding that life is too short. We should take advantage of the environment we have been provided with and take time to enrich ourselves, relationships, and to understand why we aren't doing those things we always wanted to. There is no sense in waiting when you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Love,
Jen